What research shows about grief and weight
The clearest evidence links bereavement with unintentional weight loss in older adults who lose a spouse. We know much less about weight gain after a loss, including how often it happens, whether grief itself causes it, and how long it lasts.
A systematic review of 32 studies looked at how losing a spouse affects weight, eating habits, sleep, and alcohol use in older adults.
It found strong evidence of poorer nutrition and unintentional weight loss, moderate evidence of poorer sleep and increased alcohol use, and mixed results for physical activity.1
None of the studies tracked weight consistently after the death, so the review can’t tell us what happened to weight over time. It also can’t tell us whether the findings apply to younger people or to losses other than a spouse.
Evidence for weight gain is less clear. In a Swedish survey of 5,142 adults, people who had lost both parents had a body mass index (BMI, a measure of weight relative to height) 0.45 points higher than people whose parents were alive.2
However, the researchers only measured BMI once, after the deaths. They didn’t know what anyone weighed beforehand, so the survey can’t show whether bereavement caused their weight to rise.
Why some people gain weight after a loss
During grief, some people turn to food to try to ease the sadness, loneliness, or distress of losing someone.
Eating for comfort may contribute to weight gain, alongside changes in meals, sleep, and alcohol use.
For example, we might snack on chocolate in the evening because we miss having our partner there, even if we’re not hungry.
If eating offers a brief distraction or some relief, we may continue to repeat the behaviour whenever we feel lonely or distressed.
Over time, eating can become an automatic response to those feelings. This might mean snacking more often or continuing to eat after feeling full, because the distress that prompted us to eat is still there.
This use of food to cope with challenging emotions is often called emotional eating.
Research has linked emotional eating with weight gain over time, although those findings aren’t specific to bereavement.7
Our guide to emotional eating explains how to recognise when we use food as a coping mechanism for challenging emotions.
A sense of loss can also make meals themselves difficult. If we regularly ate with the person who died, cooking and eating alone may be painful reminders of their absence. We may cook less often and rely more on prepared food or snacks.
Poor sleep can also make shopping and preparing meals harder. A review of research on older adults who had lost a spouse found that some people drank more alcohol after the death. However, it didn’t establish whether drinking more contributed to weight gain.1
Cortisol, a hormone involved in the stress response, is sometimes given as the reason for weight gain during grief.
However, a review of 20 studies found changes in cortisol among bereaved people, but the results varied significantly and didn’t establish that these changes caused weight gain.3
Why some people lose weight after a loss
Grief can reduce appetite and disrupt the routines that usually prompt us to prepare and eat meals. This can result in us eating less than usual and losing weight unintentionally.
For some of us, deep sadness makes food less appealing. We may not feel hungry, may feel full after eating a smaller portion, or may find that nausea puts us off food completely.
We also tend to eat at familiar times, such as breakfast before work, a lunch break, or dinner with a partner. Taking time off work, sleeping at different times, or no longer sharing meals with that person can mean those usual reminders to eat are missing.
If our appetite is low, we may go much longer without thinking about food. We might skip meals or graze on small snacks throughout the day without eating enough to replace our usual meals.
Preparing food may be harder still if the person who died used to do the shopping or cooking.
Studies of older adults who had lost a spouse found that they ate alone more often, enjoyed food less, and ate more meals prepared outside the home.1
Unintentional weight loss can be particularly harmful in later life because it may include muscle loss and be a sign of malnutrition.
Speak to your GP if you continue to experience unintentional weight loss.
Supporting your health while grieving
Grief can leave us feeling helpless and disrupt the routines that normally give structure to our days.
Eating three main meals a day, going for walks, and spending time with friends may help us look after ourselves and regain some sense of control over everyday life.
Making a plan to eat with someone or meet for a walk gives us a say in how part of the day will go. It also makes time for food, movement, and company when grief can make it difficult to attend to our own needs.
In a study of 145 people who had lost a spouse, those who reported doing more to manage changes in everyday life also reported better adjustment to the loss at 2-3 months and 7 months.4
The study didn’t test food or exercise habits. It also couldn’t tell whether managing everyday tasks helped people cope with grief, or whether people who were coping better found those tasks easier.
Still, the research does suggest that focusing on the little things and having some structure to our days may help us manage grief better in the long term.
What feels manageable will differ between people and from day to day. Sometimes, looking after ourselves may mean asking someone to bring a meal or spend time with us, rather than trying to organise everything ourselves.
If eating feels difficult
If grief has reduced your appetite, try eating smaller portions at regular times, even if you don’t feel hungry. A smaller portion may feel easier to manage than a full meal.
Start with foods you enjoy and feel able to eat. When you don’t have the motivation to cook, options such as natural Greek yoghurt with fruit and nuts, porridge made with milk and peanut butter, or scrambled eggs on toast provide us with protein, energy, and some essential nutrients without taking too long to prepare.
You could keep a few of these foods available so there’s something to eat without having to shop or decide what to cook.
Smoothies made with yoghurt, fruit, nut butters, and protein powder are also a good option as they’re easy to prepare, digest, and provide the body with essential nutrients.
Allowing yourself to experience difficult feelings
Coping with grief can include noticing sadness, loneliness, or anger without immediately trying to explain the feeling away or distract ourselves. This doesn’t mean forcing ourselves to feel upset or continuing when the distress becomes overwhelming.
We may feel sad because we miss someone’s company, the conversations we had, or the things we used to do together. Understanding why we feel this way doesn’t necessarily make the sadness disappear.
Taking breaks is also part of coping. Spending time on work, a film, or a conversation about something else can provide relief without meaning we’re avoiding grief altogether.11
If you’d like to try noticing a feeling without immediately changing it, choose a moment when you’re not already overwhelmed. You could ask someone you trust to stay with you.
- Sit somewhere comfortable, keeping your eyes open and your feet on the floor. Notice a few things you can see and hear around you.
- Briefly name what you’re feeling, such as sadness or loneliness. You don’t need to work out why it’s happening or find a positive way to describe it.
- Allow the feeling to be there for a few moments while breathing normally. Then return your attention to your surroundings and decide what you need next, whether that’s company, a meal, rest, or another activity.
This exercise uses the noticing and grounding techniques described in guidance on managing difficult thoughts and feelings.12 You don’t need to bring up upsetting memories or wait for the feeling to disappear before stopping.
If you become panicky, overwhelmed, or feel disconnected from your surroundings, stop and focus on what you can see and hear. Contact someone you trust for support.
If focusing on feelings brings back distressing memories of the death or repeatedly leaves you feeling worse, speak to a bereavement counsellor or therapist before trying again.
If eating has become a main source of comfort
If food has become a main way of coping with grief, understanding when and why you turn to it can help you decide what support you need.
Think about when you last ate and whether something has left you feeling especially sad, anxious, or alone.
We can experience hunger and emotional distress at the same time. Eating regular meals can help prevent long periods without food, while talking to someone you trust may give you a chance to express feelings you’ve been managing alone.
If eating offers some relief from grief, trying to stop without having another way of coping with challenging emotions may be difficult.
A bereavement support group or counsellor can offer time to talk about the loss and help you find ways to cope with the distress.
Speak to your GP if you repeatedly feel unable to stop eating or your eating is causing distress. They can assess what’s happening and help you find support.
If binge eating is involved, trying to diet can make it harder to stop, according to NHS guidance.
Movement, sleep, and alcohol
Regular movement may help with low mood and sleep, although research on its benefits specifically during grief is still limited.8, 9
Choose something familiar that feels manageable, such as walking, gardening, or swimming.
If energy or motivation is low, a short session may be easier to start with, without the pressure of a new exercise programme.
Alcohol can make us feel drowsy, but it also changes our sleep, including reducing time spent in REM sleep, a stage associated with vivid dreaming.10 We don’t recommend using it as a sleep aid.
If drinking has become a regular way to manage distress or get to sleep, speak to your GP about support for both the drinking and the difficulties that prompted it.
Is it okay to try to lose weight while grieving?
We don’t recommend trying to lose weight while going through a bereavement. Your psychological wellbeing, eating enough, and having support as you adjust to the loss should take priority.
There’s no set amount of time to wait before considering weight loss again. But generally, it might be when life starts to feel more normal again.
Eating well and staying active can still help during grief. These habits can provide structure, company, and opportunities to look after yourself without the additional pressure of trying to reach a particular weight.
Anyone with a current or previous eating disorder, or a medical condition affecting weight, should discuss plans to lose weight with their GP.
Weight loss and weight gain after a loss
| Question |
Weight loss |
Weight gain |
| What does research show? |
Older adults are more likely to lose weight without trying after a spouse dies |
Research hasn’t established how often weight gain happens or how long it lasts |
| What may contribute? |
Low appetite, missed meals, nausea, and eating alone |
Eating more often for comfort, relying more on snacks, poor sleep, and more alcohol |
| What can support health? |
Smaller portions at regular times and help with shopping or cooking |
Eat regular meals, notice when food is used for comfort, and eat with others when possible |
| When is medical advice needed? |
When unintentional weight loss continues, eating has been very limited, or new symptoms appear |
When weight rises quickly without a clear reason, especially with swelling or breathlessness |
When to seek help
A 5-10% weight loss over 3-6 months without trying is a possible sign of malnutrition, according to the NHS. Speak to your GP if weight keeps falling.
If you have eaten little or nothing for more than five days, contact your GP for advice. NICE guidance treats this as a risk of malnutrition and recommends care when food intake is increased again.
Seek urgent medical advice if you are becoming faint, confused, very weak, or dehydrated. Don’t wait for five days to pass.
Arrange a GP review if weight gain is rapid or unexplained, especially if it comes with swelling, breathlessness, marked tiredness, increased thirst, or another new symptom.
A GP can check for other causes of weight change, including medicines, depression, thyroid problems, pregnancy, or changes after childbirth.
Speak to your GP if low mood has lasted more than two weeks, grief is making daily life increasingly difficult, or you’re struggling to cope. In England, you can also self-refer to NHS Talking Therapies.
Grief can remain painful for a long time without being a disorder.
A clinician may consider prolonged grief disorder when intense longing for the person who died, or persistent thoughts about them, seriously affect someone’s ability to work, maintain relationships, or look after themselves.
The assessment considers the symptoms, how they affect daily life, and how long they’ve continued.
Still grieving after several months doesn’t, by itself, mean someone has this condition.5
Speak to your GP whenever grief feels difficult to cope with. You don’t need to wait a particular amount of time to ask for support.
If you’re experiencing thoughts about suicide or feel unable to keep yourself safe, call 999 or go to A&E.
You can call Samaritans free on 116 123 at any time, and Cruse Bereavement Support on 0808 808 1677 during its helpline hours.
Speak to your GP if you regularly feel unable to control your eating, severely restrict how much you eat, make yourself sick after eating, misuse laxatives, or feel intense fear about food or weight.
Beat’s helplines also offer support for people affected by eating disorders.
Take home message
Grief can change our appetite, disrupt mealtimes, and make food a source of comfort.
Some people struggle to eat enough, while others eat more often to ease sadness or loneliness. These changes may contribute to weight loss or weight gain.
We don’t recommend trying to lose weight while going through a bereavement.
Eating enough, looking after your mental health, and getting support as you adjust to the loss should take priority.
Regular meals, gentle movement, and time with other people may give the day some structure and a sense of control.
Depending on how we feel, this might mean preparing a meal, arranging a walk, or asking a friend to bring food and stay for a while.
There’s no set time to wait before considering weight loss again. Healthy habits can still help during grief without needing to reach a particular weight.
Speak to your GP if you’re struggling to eat, continue to experience unintentional weight loss, or gain weight quickly without an obvious reason. They can check for other causes and assess whether you’re getting enough nutrition.
You can also ask for bereavement support whenever grief feels difficult to cope with.
Second Nature offers weight management support from registered dietitians and nutritionists, including help with food, movement, sleep, and eating habits. The programme is not a treatment for grief.
In a 12-month evaluation, people who remained active on Second Nature’s semaglutide-supported programme lost an average of 19.1% of their starting weight. At 12 months, 39.6% of the original 341 participants were still active, so the result does not describe everyone who joined.6
Second Nature's Mounjaro and Wegovy programmes
Second Nature provides Mounjaro or Wegovy as part of our Mounjaro and Wegovy weight-loss programmes.
Why choose Second Nature over other medication providers, assuming you're eligible?
Because peace of mind matters.
We've had the privilege of working with the NHS for over eight years, helping people across the UK take meaningful steps toward a healthier, happier life.
Our programmes are designed to meet people where they are, whether that means support with weight loss through compassionate one-to-one health coaching, or access to the latest weight-loss medications (like Mounjaro and Wegovy) delivered alongside expert care from a multidisciplinary team of doctors, psychologists, dietitians, and personal trainers.
At the heart of everything we do is a simple belief: real, lasting change comes from building better habits, not relying on quick fixes. We're here to support that change every step of the way.
With over a decade of experience, thousands of lives changed, and a long-standing record of delivering programmes used by the NHS, we believe we're the UK's most trusted weight-loss programme.
We hope to offer you something invaluable: peace of mind, and the support you need to take that first step.
